Three angry people, thirty days in LA

Hey, it's been a long time since my last post. Sorry, I just moved to California and I haven't had time to really post anything or write anything. I've been in California now for about 30 days, struggling to find a job. The weather is beautiful, but one thing that really stood out to me since I got here is just the attitude of the people.

I spent the last three years in Maryland. Three years. I cannot remember a single time someone got casually, publicly mad at me. Not at the gas station, not at the grocery store, not behind the wheel. People kept to themselves. Nobody was looking to start anything.

LA, 30 days in, I've already had three.

The Lyft pickup

I'm doing rideshare to make money while I job hunt. Last week I got a pickup in a parking lot. Young woman, supposed to be coming out of the building. The app put me on the wrong side of the lane from where she'd exit, so I figured I'd pull a U-turn and grab the spot closer to the door. Make her life easier.

What I didn't know: she was already outside, walking toward my car. Her Lyft profile picture didn't show her face, so I had no idea what she looked like. She gets in, and the first thing out of her mouth is, "Oh, you don't have to be doing all that, sir! You're driving crazy!"

I wasn't driving crazy. I was trying to be helpful. But she was already lit up before the door even closed.

The grocery store guy

A few days later I'm with my wife, heading to a grocery store. Driving slow through the parking lot, like you do, and I see a spot on the right. Stop. From my left I hear, "What the fuck, man?"

I roll down the window. "Dude, what's your problem?" He says I was driving through the parking lot not paying attention. I said, "Dude, you are really far away when I got to this point. There's no possible way I could have hit you. Am I not allowed to stop right here? I'm literally about to park in this parking spot."

He goes, "You know what, man, whatever, fuck you," and walks into the grocery store. The same store I was about to go into.

It's a smaller store. He walks right by me inside. No eye contact. Doesn't say a word. I was half expecting some kind of acknowledgment, maybe a "hey, we got off on the wrong foot." Nothing.

The Hollywood Starbucks passenger

This was last night. Uber pickup at a Starbucks in Hollywood. I'm making small talk, just a casual question. "Do you ever see any famous people working at this location?"

She says, "Man, I don't give a fuck about that."

I said, "Oh, okay, why, what's up?" And she went off. She grew up in LA. Lived here her whole life. Went to high school here. She was tired of watching people get special treatment for being in something. A classmate of hers got attention because she was in a commercial. Another kid was an extra in a movie and everyone made a big deal about it. Meanwhile she's out here trying to make it, struggling, can't even buy a house.

She wasn't angry at me. She was just angry.

What I think is going on

I can relate to all three of these people. I really can. I don't feel poor, but I feel like no matter how hard I try, nothing has fully worked out yet. I've been making good decisions and trying to progress since I was 30. I'm not in my 20s anymore. The clock is real.

I'm still very much in the "work hard and eventually I'll make it" camp. I'm not dissatisfied with my life. I have a beautiful wife. Good relationship with my family. We've been a positive influence on my wife's side too. It's hard to truly feel bad about where I'm at.

But I've had real failures. COVID shut down my restaurant. I have reasons to be angry at the world. So I get it. I understand the temptation.

Three encounters in one month, though, that's not coincidence. There's something cultural here I don't fully understand yet. I'm going to be in LA for at least a year, so I'll get to watch it unfold.

What I'm choosing instead

Here's where I land: I empathize with these people, but I don't want to be around them.

Their negativity does nothing for me. To me, that anger reads as being okay with defeat. Being okay with giving up. I'm never going to do that. I'm always going to try to better myself, take charge of my own situation, no matter how hard it gets.

I'm not going to pretend my situation is hard. It's not. But to feel like I've reached my full potential, the path was never supposed to be easy.

And even when I honestly feel the way those three people feel, and sometimes I do, I catch myself. Every time.

Just don't give up, bro.